The Landscape of Divorce

Divorce is a multifaceted and intricate journey that countless individuals navigate in America. In this exploration, we delve into the diverse facets of divorce, examining both the legal and emotional dimensions that define the landscape of separation.

Divorce in America

1. Legal Complexities and Marital Dissolution

Divorce proceedings in America involve a myriad of legal intricacies, encompassing terms such as “irreconcilable differences” and “grounds for divorce.” Each state may have its own set of laws governing the dissolution of marriages, contributing to the complex tapestry of the legal landscape.

Spousal support, also known as “alimony,” and the equitable division of assets further complicate the process, requiring legal expertise to navigate the intricate negotiations that often accompany the end of a marriage.

2. Custody Battles and Parenting Plans

For couples with children, divorce introduces a realm of complexities related to child custody and parenting plans. Legal jargon such as “joint …

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Several years ago, one of my best girlfriends called me. Through tears, she said, “My husband left me for another woman.” It was horrible. I could not have felt worse for her.

She had been happily married (or so she thought) for over two decades, and was unearthed by her husband asking for a divorce, and then marrying the woman he was cheating with, just days after their divorce was final.

It was a tough road for my friend. I watched her go from rock bottom at day one, trying to absorb the shock, through all the phases. They included tears, depression, furry, fear, bad dates, confusion. Where is she now? She is a happy, healthy beautiful, successful person who is very much in love with a great guy.


Patricia Van Haren, Divorce Attorney


Now, what about her ex?

Here is where I think any woman who experiences “My husband left me for another woman”

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From a recently separated reader:  I’m going through a divorce after 21 years of marriage and want to know how to survive divorce. Will I survive? I felt strong until we sold our house and I actually moved out. I’m sick, sad, and very depressed. I don’t know who I am without him and I don’t know how to be single and independent. How will I survive? 


Messages I receive like this one from people going through a divorce and wanting to know how to survive divorce are perhaps the most heartbreaking for me. I can only imagine this woman sitting at her computer feeling hopeless, tears in her eyes, typing this message and feeling lost.


Grace Untethered - Holly Herzog


My answer to the question, “Will I survive?” is HELL YES. Not surviving isn’t an option. Your loved ones (and children if you have them) need you to pull it together and not only

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The first time meeting with a divorce lawyer can feel stressful. In my 34 years of practicing law, I can say that when I meet a client for the first time, though each situation is unique, the client is almost always feeling common emotions. These can include: sadness, anger, fear, and of course, confusion. There are so many questions to ask a divorce lawyer, and sometimes, clients don’t even know what to ask!


It is important to ask a lot of questions and to ask the right questions, so that you hire an attorney you feel you can trust, who you feel comfortable with, and who you think will get you the best outcome possible.


If you are considering or planning on meeting with a divorce attorney, I think I can help make the meeting more productive by offering:


10 Questions to Ask a Divorce Lawyer at Your First Meeting

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As a newly separated or divorced person, I remember wanting to make really good new year’s resolutions. Not the typical ones like these…

“I’m going to lose 20 pounds.”

“I’m writing that book I’ve been talking about since 1997.”

“I’m going to cut out red wine.”

“I’m joining a gym and going 7 days a week.”

“I’m going to quit vaping.”

“I’m going to be nicer to my ex.”


Grace Untethered - Holly Herzog


What I didn’t realize back then was that being newly separated or divorced is a wonderful time to make real, meaningful, special new year’s resolutions. It’s an opportunity to really get a fresh start; to be done with looking at the past and even looking forward, but rather staying in the present, thinking about what you are grateful for today, what you want you life to be like, and how you are going to get that life–one step at a time.

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I’ve only had one panic attack (lucky me!) and it was during my divorce.  As a therapist, I knew exactly what was happening to me as I have seen anxiety and panic attacks after a breakup or a divorce with many clients over the years. Still, it scared the crap out of me.  I couldn’t catch my breath; my heart was pounding, and I felt a sense of doom. My anxiety was never more pronounced than during that time period, as well.  Divorce is no joke when it comes to anxiety and panic attacks.

Divorce is one of the top five life stressors, and according to the US Surgeon General 30-40 percent of adults in the divorce process have a significant increase in symptoms of anxiety and depression. This article will address the symptoms, the causes and possible solutions for anxiety and panic attacks after a breakup or a divorce.

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Maybe you’re divorced and unattached, or perhaps you are newly separated? Maybe you’re still married, unhappy, and thinking about divorce. Or, maybe your spouse recently passed away. All of these are very painful situations, and all of these result in being or feeling alone at Christmas–a feeling that can be lonely, sad, scary, upsetting, painful, awkward and/or depressing.

My story is, I got separated in August, so when it was Christmastime, it had been about 4 months. The plan was for my kids to go to my ex’s for four days (which included Christmas Eve and Christmas!)  Let me tell you, I had so much anxiety about it, and spent hours, days actually, worrying about it. I was scared I would cry the whole time, that I couldn’t survive the loneliness.

But I did. I actually got through it so much better than I thought because I focused on the

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Wondering how to attract the love of your life? More than dating strategies, dating apps, new outfits, beauty treatments, therapy or more, there is one thing you need. This one thing is more important than your physical appearance, age, past relationship experiences, current circumstances, online profile, how you dress, your career or financial success, what you say or anything else! PERIOD!


Most women and men assume there is something they should do, or actions they must take, to find the love of their life. They’re partially right. There are many things you can do to help increase the chances of finding the love of your life.


There’s plenty of information out there on what to do to meet someone, how to date, what to say, how to figure out if someone is right for you and more. But when it comes to attracting your amazing partner, there is something

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I’m a dog lover. I have two dogs named Simba and Sierra. They are very special to me, and I can’t imagine my life without them. That’s why it’s heartbreaking to me when divorcing clients ask me this question: Who gets the dog in a divorce?


The answer to the question is complicated because like anything else in divorce, it depends on the situation, and on many, many factors. Who gets the dog in a divorce depends on things that include: which partner wants the dog, work situations, children, parents’ travel schedules, financial responsibilities, when the dog joined your family, did anyone make payments for the dog and whether those payments came from marital or non-marital sources, and at which house the dog thrives.


Until about eight years ago, a dog (or any pet) was considered “property” in a divorce in Illinois. Just like furniture, or a boat, or

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There are so many reasons people get divorced, and every situation is unique. You might be 100% sure that divorce is right for you, but then again, you might be wondering if there’s even the slightest possibility things can work out. You might be asking, “How do you save a marriage that is falling apart?”


I think I can help you.


Did you know that there are countless couples that end up getting divorced and they didn’t truly want it? The sad thing is, they got divorced because they just didn’t know what else to do.


If you’re contemplating divorce right now,  but deep down you still love your spouse, you are proud of the life you’ve built together and the family you’ve raised together, and you’re wondering how to save a marriage that is falling apart, I have great news for you.


You absolutely can save a marriage that

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